What is Violence?

1.  Have you ever heard the word violence? What do you think it means?
[Go around the circle and have everyone take a turn answering the question]

• Violence is when someone uses their physical body to hurt someone
• Violence is when someone uses a weapon to hurt others
• Violence is when someone physically hurts themselves on purpose
• Violence is when someone uses their body or a weapon to force someone to do something

2.  Can you think of some examples of behaviors or actions that would be considered "violent?"
 [Go around the circle and have everyone take a turn answering the question]

• When someone hits, bites, spits, or kicks another person
• When someone uses their body or a weapon to take something from someone else
• When someone pushes someone else
• When someone gets really mad and punches the wall
• When someone deliberately destroys something

3.  Why do you think people choose to be violent?
[Go around the circle and have everyone take a turn answering the question]

• Sometimes if anger, sadness, or fear are eating away at a person, those feelings want to explode through violent actions
• Sometimes when people are feeling hungry, thirsty, or too hot or cold, feelings like that can lead to someone losing control
• Sometimes people don't feel like they have a choice -- that violence is the only path that leads to survival
• Sometimes people behave violently, because they are defending themselves against others who are acting violent

Highs and Lows

Materials Needed:

• Safe space to share
• Paper
• Markers, colored pencils, and/ or crayons

Directions:

NOTE:  Please save the artwork that is created during this Soul Talk.  You are going to repurpose it for Session 2.

A great way to foster conversation with the children in your life about violence they see, hear about, or experience, is by creating a space to check in with them. Check-ins are a way to build and foster trust. For kids to feel safe in a space and confident in their check-ins with others, you may need to check in frequently. Trust and comfort are built over time and not always given right away. Decide a time together to have daily check-ins with your children. (Maybe this is during meal times, before school, at the end of the day -- you will know best the most convenient time for your group.)

• Sit in a circle and have everyone share 2 highs and 2 lows about their day. (Two great things that happened and two challenging things.) It's okay if people don't have two of each. It is also okay if children need to talk more. This shared time sets a safe space for the children you care for to share about situations that may be difficult or violent, while also balancing these conversations with the positive experiences they may be having. Providing this time will help you know better what your children are seeing, hearing, and experiencing. While watching their peers share, children are also learning that they are not alone in any feelings they may be experiencing.
• After sharing highs and lows, it is important that grown ups share their highs and lows, too.  This could provide an opportunity for an important conversation.
• Invite everyone to use the paper and markers to express anything they may need to get out. Creating together often offers a space to connect and share.  They can draw outlines of suns and clouds, add some words to express those high and low feelings and then cut them out. Or, their creative expression may be writing, drawing, poetry, or crunching up the paper into a ball and throwing it as far as you can.  There is no right or wrong way to do this. This activity is about children having an additional outlet to express their feelings in a healthy way.

If you would like to share your art with the group during this time, please do; but it isn't mandatory. Please save the artwork that is created during this Soul Talk.  You are going to repurpose it for Session 2.

Story Time – Activity Option 2 

[In order to complete this activity, your group will need a copy of one of the suggested books. Our library has a collection of books dedicated to each Soul Talk which is updated constantly! You can visit our library at the link below. Search for the Violence & Nonviolence section.] https://spiritualplaydate.com/spiritual_playdate_library 

Since our Soul Talk was about What is Violence?, we are going to read a book out loud. As you listen, start to think about how this story relates to what we just spoke about. 

How did it feel to listen to the people in your group/ family share their highs and lows? How did it feel to share your thoughts with the group? Did you notice how your body was feeling when it was your turn? Did you feel nervous or scared? How did your body feel as you listened to others? Often, those feelings in our mind and body are our first clues as to where our emotions are going and how to manage them. Managing heavy feelings may mean talking to trusted individuals in your life, creating something, going for a walk, taking deep breaths- or anything else that helps your body feel like your own again.  Daily check-ins with people you trust is a helpful and meaningful way to not only gain support, but offer it to others as well.

[Invite the group to find a relaxing position, take a mat or towel, if you are working on a hard floor. They may sit or lie down to be comfortable. Speak slightly slower in a soft, soothing tone throughout, pausing briefly between sentences. You may play soft, instrumental music in the background while reading the meditation script]

Welcome to our Meditation Time: The time where we relax and connect to the spirit in and around us. I invite you to sit or lie down and make yourself comfortable.  Quietly do that now.  [Wait until the group is settled, then read the meditation script] [Optional: Begin music.]

I am going to guide you through our meditation to help you relax.    Let’s close our eyes, and let’s start by putting our hands on our bellies, and taking a deep, long breath in.  Feel your belly rise as you breathe in – to the count of 1, 2, 3. Then feel your belly fall, as you slowly breathe out – to the count of 1, 2, 3.  Now breathe in – 1, 2, 3. And slowly breathe out like a tire losing air – 1, 2, 3. Continue to breathe in and out slowly and steadily. Relax your body into the floor beneath you.  Keep breathing.

The word “violence” is not a pleasant word to think about.  But unfortunately, violence is part of our world, and it’s important for us to talk about it, so we can know it when we see it, and so we won’t be violent ourselves. [Pause] Violence can take all kinds of forms: Bullies can be violent.  People who use their power over other people can be violent.  People who are angry, upset, or hurt can be violent. People who are fighting back against being hurt themselves can be violent. Whatever the cause, being violent is always a choice.  [Pause.] Take a moment now to think of a time when you were violent yourself.  Did you ever hit or punch someone?  Think about how you were feeling that made you want to be violent. Were you angry?  Upset?  Were you getting back at someone who had hurt you? Maybe someone took something from you.  You might not have ever been violent yourself, but you’ve thought about being violent.  How were you feeling when you wanted to lash out?  [Long Pause.]  Those feelings can build up inside, can’t they?  And it’s when they erupt like a volcano that violence happens – and people and things get broken. [Pause.] There must be another choice.  There must be another way. [Long Pause.]  We don’t have to choose violence.  We can choose the path of nonviolence.  Those who travel the path of nonviolence refuse to hurt other people, no matter how angry they are.  They recognize when their inner volcano is getting ready to explode, and they control their anger and calm down.  They know that using their fists or weapons won’t solve anything.  You can walk the path of nonviolence, too. [Pause.]

Now let’s take one more deep breath, and slowly let it out.  Now slowly open your eyes and slowly roll to the side and sit up to end our time of meditation.

[Optional: Turn off music] [Optional:  Say: Please return your cushion to its starting place]

Closing Choose One:

Closing Affirmation - Option 1 

Turn to the person to your right, look them in the eye and say "I am happy I could share this time with you and hear about your beliefs."

 Closing Prayer - Option 2  
The light of god surrounds us
The love of god enfolds us
The power of god protects us
The presence of god watches over us
Wherever we are, god is and all is well!