Forgiving Others

1. During our last Soul Talk, we spoke about forgiveness and what it means to forgive. We also talked about how difficult forgiveness can be. Why do you think forgiveness can sometimes be so hard to accomplish?
[Go around the circle and have everyone take a turn answering the questions]

• People can have a hard time letting go of their hurt feelings, which can make it very hard for them to forgive the person who hurt them

• Sometimes, we can find it very easy to let go of hurt feelings, allowing us to move on positively with the person who hurt us

• Oftentimes, it can be very difficult to ask for forgiveness and admit we did something that hurt someone else

• It can be even harder to forgive ourselves, but most people agree that in order to be happy we must not hold on to self directed anger. We should try to learn our lesson and let the negative feelings go

2. Why do you think it is important to forgive?
[Go around the circle and have everyone take a turn answering the questions]

• Forgiveness often makes us feel better in the long run

• Forgiveness not only makes us feel good, it also makes the person you are forgiving feel good

• Forgiving ourselves is important. By forgiving ourselves, it allows us the opportunity to move forward and feel happier

3. There are many different ways to forgive someone. How do you forgive people who have hurt you? Depending on the situation, does your forgiveness vary, is it sometimes easier to forgive than at other times?
[Go around the circle and have everyone take a turn answering the questions]

• When we are looking to forgive someone, we can sometimes speak kindly to the person who upset us. This is a great way to let people know you are not angry anymore

• Many people tend to accept forgiveness when it’s offered, a simple “I’m sorry” can be more than enough

• Actions are a great way to let people know you forgive them. Sometimes, words are not enough and that extra bit of effort is necessary

• When it is particularly hard to find forgiveness, we may have to look even deeper within ourselves and find the strength to let the hurt go

Tangled Feelings

Materials Needed:

• Ball of Yarn

Directions:

• As you start to unravel the ball of yarn, have one child or adult hold the end.

• Work your way around the group, circling them with yarn, generally being silly and eliciting a few giggles.

• As you are stringing the yarn around the people in your group, have others in the group also hold on to a part of the yarn, to make sure it stays stable.

• Once everyone is in a good tangle, but still able to move, ask them to try to walk. They will most likely try moving in different directions before they realize they need to work together to move.

Which was easier, moving on your own or moving while tangled up with everyone else? This is what walking around without forgiveness feels like…a big tangled bunch of feelings, that makes it impossible to move anywhere easily. Let’s discuss what it felt like to be pulled in different directions and all tangled up. This is sometimes what holding on to hurt can feel like, it can be difficult and it can be confusing. But when you work together to get through it, you move forward.  We have talked about what it means to give and receive forgiveness towards others … and how not forgiving can make our lives harder.  Now it is time to put our lesson into action, to work on letting go of the hurt and letting the good in.

[Invite the group to find a relaxing position, take a mat or towel, if you are working on a hard floor. They may sit or lie down to be comfortable. Speak slightly slower in a soft, soothing tone throughout, pausing briefly between sentences. You may play soft, instrumental music in the background while reading the meditation script]

Welcome to our Meditation Time: The time where we relax and connect to the spirit in and around us.  I invite you to put a cushion on the floor, and to sit cross-legged, with a nice tall back and your hands relaxed in your lap. Quietly do that now, as we begin our meditation.  [Wait until the group is settled, then read the meditation script]  [Optional: Begin music.]

Close your eyes and let your muscles relax into the floor.  Take a slow, deep breath in, all the way down to your belly … you feel your belly rise as you think 1, 2, 3.  Feel your belly fall as you slowly breathe out, thinking 1,2,3.  Breathe in — 1, 2, 3 … breathe out – 1, 2, 3.  Keep breathing in and out slowly and steadily.

Forgiving others is not always easy.  Our first reaction is often to want to make the other person feel as hurt or angry as we do.  But the truth is that two wrongs don’t make a right.  And their hurting won’t make anything better.  [Pause.]  Forgiveness releases any bad feelings we have about someone. We forgive others by knowing that no one is perfect … not even us.  We forgive others by seeing who they truly are — not as the mistakes they may have made.  Think right now of someone who might need your forgiveness.  Is there someone you are angry or upset with?  Someone who might have hurt your feelings?  Bring that person to mind. [Pause.]  When you forgive that person, it doesn’t erase what they did.  It means that you decide that you will not carry those bad feelings anymore.  Take a moment now to put your hand on your heart, and think of someone you want to forgive. [Pause.]  Think to yourself, “I know you made a mistake, and I have felt bad about what happened.  But I choose to forgive you.  I love you.  And I let go of the bad feelings between us.”  [Pause.]  Breathe into that forgiveness, and let each breath out release the bad feelings. [Long pause.] 

Now let’s take one more deep breath in – 1, 2, 3.  And one more deep breath out – 1, 2, 3.  Now slowly open your eyes, and let your body reconnect with this space and the people in it.  We end our meditation feeling at peace, knowing that forgiveness for others is just a decision away.

[Optional: Turn off music]  [Optional: Say: Please return your cushion to its starting place]

Closing — Choose One:

Closing Affirmation — Option 1 

Turn to the person to your right, look them in the eye and say “I am happy I could share this time with you and hear about your beliefs.”

 Closing Prayer — Option 2  
The light of god surrounds us
The love of god enfolds us
The power of god protects us
The presence of god watches over us
Wherever we are, god is and all is well!